twilight-af:

New Moon in 2017 where Bella posts pictures with Jacob on Instagram and Edward scrolls through her page sobbing in an alley

Anonymous sent: you spent 4$ on a frog balloon?

cosed:

im just trying to be happy

sirobvious:

spacehunter-m:

fred likes to say tréasure

Did a nuclear fucking bomb go off in that second one

darthvcder:

“kids these days are so cringey w their fortnite dances-” are none of yall going to acknowledge the shit we did. are we not going to acknowledge gangnam style. what does the fox say. if we go older hamster dance. crazy frog. the fucking duck song. the llama song. charlie the unicorn.

let he who is without sin throw the first stone

brothasoul:

what the fuck ash

eelpatrickharris:

eelpatrickharris:

anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you

i remember once matching up with this 27 year old mechanic. he found the omegle page open on one the shop’s computers, and he wanted to see what his coworker was up to. we matched up because of our listed “manga” interests.

he asked how old i was, and i lied and said i was 16. as a conversation starter, he asked if i had my license yet, and because i was 12, i said no.

so he starts giving me driving tips. get a junker as your first, because when you finally get a new car, you’ll be able to appreciate it.

stick shift is going out of fashion, and even if you learn how to drive that way and enjoy it, get an automatic. it’ll save your ass on nasty hills and in rush hour traffic.

and most importantly, never hold your hands at 10 and 2. go with 9 and 3. he’d always loved cars, and used to race when he was younger. became pretty well known in the indie circles. one day, he was speeding around the track and just came out of the curve when a girl in the crowd flashed her tits at him.

he was so distracted that he crashed straight into the barrier. due to how he was holding the wheel, he broke both of his arms. he still has a couple lingering issues.

i asked him if it was worth it, and he said yes. he’d do it again if he had the chance. they were the finest tiddies he’d ever seen.

the moral of this story is that, to this day, i grip 9 and 3 when using both hands because wait that’s what tiddy guy said i should do.

cizayox:

This is honestly what i look like in my minds eye

thesadghostclub:

If today felt impossible, if it took everything you have just to get through. Rest easy with the knowledge that you never have to do today again. It’s over. You did it <3

manintolerant:

I think a very revealing moment on Queer Eye was when Tan said to the man they were making over: “I look good for my husband, what are you doing to keep her?” And it like. Absolutely astounded, dumbfounded this man that he should possibly be doing anything for his wife other than merely Exist as her husband